Why Subscribe?

It’s quite possible you’ve heard of the Bible. Noah’s ark, David and Goliath, Peter walking on water, that sort of thing. Beloved by billions, the Bible is as Biblical as it gets.

Which is why it probably wouldn’t hurt if somebody did a humble rewrite of its most famous passages, and emailed those stories straight to your inbox. Where you could read them, and maybe forward them to a few friends. Just like grandma used to do.

However, unless you have a fairly chill grandma, I wouldn’t recommend sending them to her directly. These Holy Writ re-writes are satirical. They’re intended to be irreverent and preposterous in the best sort of ways. If they don’t offend someone, somewhere, I’m probably not doing it right. Hopefully, there’s some profundity and beauty in there for you too. After all, we can’t all be hardened cynics—not all the time, anyway.

How It Works

If you enter your email into the “Subscribe” box, I will send you an email each week. For free! I may occasionally post a sort of ‘Holy Writ Commentary,’ where I talk about the stories and why I wrote them, point out all the niche Bible jokes I think are amusing, and recommend books and blogs for further reading.

All the stories are free, and I’d be honored if you’d simply subscribe and read them. If you like this stuff, the best way to support Holy Writ is to share it on social media or perhaps even with your grandmother—she’ll love it, I’m sure.

By the way, I’ve created an index of everything on this site. It gives you the ability to filter, sort, and search. You can click here to check it out.

About Michael Reed

Perhaps I should have mentioned earlier, but my name is Michael Reed. I’ve got graduate degrees in theology and historical-critical Biblical Studies from the University of Edinburgh and Princeton Theological Seminary. I was born into the world of conservative evangelicalism, and went through the classic process of unmaking and remaking that happens whenever you study the Bible using all the books you weren’t allowed to read growing up. (What books? Subscribe, and I might tell you.) I’ve won creative writing awards named after such literaries as Frederick Buechner and—somewhat hilariously, looking back on it now—Jerry B. Jenkins. (If those names mean anything at all to you, you’re going to fit right in.) I’m currently taking a sort of sabbatical year off from my day job. These stories, and caring for my two year-old daughter, are how I fill the time.

About Holy Writ

The world of Holy Writ is a mashup between the cosmology of the Ancient Near East and the imagination of the Christian West. Be warned—not only that Here There Be Dragons (which is very Biblical)—but also that God is depicted with a white bushy beard (which is very Gary Larson). Sometimes parody is the best form of critique. Also, discovery. Dragons, who knew?

If you like these stories, you’ll love my (much better and funnier) sources of inspiration. My imagination has been profoundly shaped by Frederick Buechner, especially his books Peculiar Treasures and Whistling in the Dark. Also huge is Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series. There’s probably a lot of Discworld in here. Then there’s Good Omens, also by Pratchett with Neil Gaiman—most of the mythological stuff by Gaiman, really. Worth mentioning as well is Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff by Christopher Moore, The Life of Brian by Monty Python, and Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chaing. These all, in one way or another, helped me take the Bible seriously enough that it became weird and provocative and funny again. Flannery O’Connor has shaped my understanding of the relationship between Christianity and art, and (not gonna lie) Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert got me writing just for the thrill of it. Many thanks.

And many thanks to you for getting this far. You might as well plug in your email at this point, since you’re still here. And remember to hit ‘reply’ on the emails if you like them, and hit ‘share’ on Facebook or Twitter if you don’t. Nothing spreads like a controversy, after all ;).

All the best, and happy reading,

Michael


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Find me on Twitter at @mreedmreed, or write to me at holywrit@substack.com